You taught me...

• You taught me to enjoy even the little things around me.
• You taught me that spontaneity is as good as being well-planned.
• You taught me how to trust easily.
• You taught me to think profoundly.
• You taught me to open up myself.
• You taught me to realize things that define friendship, love and being in love.
• You taught me to become selflessly in love.
• You taught me to become stupid in love.
• You taught me to miss you.
• You taught me to want you.
• You taught me to love you.
• You taught me the meaning of love's pain.
• You taught me to understand beyond imagination.
• You taught me to sacrifice endlessly.
• You taught me to forcefully hate you.
• You taught me how to love you still even stronger.

... but you never taught me how to get over you... you never taught me how to forget you... you never taught me how to 'unlove' you...

... so please let me do this my way... the best way I know how...

Twenty Seven

Sa tinagal-tagal ko nang hindi nagsusulat dito sa blog, parang di na ata ako marunong! hahaha! At sa dami nang nangyari saken the past year, dami ko rin gustong isulat pero nakakatamad... hahaha... Pero sige i'll try na nga lang...

• One year na rin akong walang lovelife. I couldn't say naman that i didn't have the chance (ulet) pero hindi lang talaga sapul. Para ngang I'm most likely to believe na lapitin ata ako ng mga komplikadong relationships at mga tao. Parang ang malas talaga... I really don't know what to feel everytime my good friends tell me na I didn't deserve those (i considered) special people in the past. Kesyo sa actual relationship daw eh sobrang martyr ako... which is well, most of the time true. I guess it's part of my personality. I may come too tough and strong to others and at first glance/encounter pero once you get to know me, ayun na! Pati sa lovelife ganun din... sobrang daling magpatawad.
• Ayokong magsalita nang tapos pero siguro hangga't maari ayoko na ng office romance. Juice ko po! Sangkatutak na ang mga intriga, hirap pa i-maintain! Gusto ko lang na parang equal footing lang kami pag getting to know each other part kasi minsan talaga naiisip ko (and like what my other friends tell me) na parang because of what i have come to establish sa career ko (modesty aside) at sa reputation ko kaya parang "to be conquered" ang approach... sad noh? :(
• 3 is indeed a crowd. Minsan sinubukan kong maging "unconventional" when it comes to patching things up in my failed relationship. After losing my ex then later finding out na sila na ng bestfriend ko, ay good luck naman di ba?! Of course i went through the anger stage and all... it came to a point naman din na the three of us were really doing well... in fact people around us were surprised how i was able to manage that... not for too long though... daming issues and and hirap talaga especially on my part. The 3 of us just didnt work...
• I wanted to let go but u wouldn't... I figured out that you actually did this already when the unexpected and unimaginable happened to us... I feared that I would still continue to love you even if you're inlove with someone else or worse done and over with it. I tried finding new love but somehow there was you again... sneaked up from behind... Why do i feel that you just want yourself to be happy? Why do i feel that you just want me stuck with these feelings for you? Why do i feel that you just want to experience and explore everything and wait for you until you become ready? Why do i feel that you dont want me to move on? One thing is for sure I know: I become more okay when we are not together...
• Kaya ngayong TWENTY SEVEN na ako siguro mas magiging maingat na ako sa mga decisions ko in life... more mature... but at the same time i'd try to have more fun as much as possible... :)