I’ve always said that driving for over an hour makes me cranky – not to mention jammed roads, having no one to talk to while driving (either I’m usually driving alone or my pax are sleeping ugh!). And time and again I say “I’d like to take the back seat and indulge myself in being a passenger sometimes”. Thing is, for the two sets of my immediate friends, I don’t get that chance really. For the first group of friends, most of them don’t drive. Alvin does but he has expired driver’s license and from the looks of it, he doesn’t have plans of renewing it anytime soon. Ayee on the other hand doesn’t feel comfortable driving in the metro. So here comes my second group of friends. Whenever we meet up, they usually bring their own cars. Boo-hoo for me.
I’ve been feeling low for the past week. Some emotional distress here and there – okay, it’s all but the never-ending saga on my lovelife really. I’ve been taking the backseat on this ride for the past 9 months, would you believe? Stupid, I know. But what can I do? It was last week when the unimaginable just happened. How else am I supposed to feel when “they are back together, or should I say having the time of their lives again” right in front of my face? For over a year I’ve never seen them together really and I’ve never wanted to know much about them – “them”. What you don’t know won’t hurt, right? Here comes devastation. Sadness. Confusion. Anger. What else?
I was fervently hoping that I’d feel nothing close to what just happened to me from the other people I care about – yes, my dear friends. Guess what, I’m wrong (well at least as of this writing). You know that feeling when you want to feel extra special, get much care and attention from other people especially when you need them most? Now that’s what I need right now. With all humility I say it now because I’m not usually the type who’d ask friends to do special things for me. I’m doing those things for them most of the time really. It’s just now that I want to get a free pass… I want to feel that somehow, I’m priority 1 in someone’s life even for just a single moment. Boy that will really mean a lot to me.
Forgive the drama but this is the human side of me. It’s just a depressing thought sometimes when people around you have been used to seeing you too independent, super strong and resilient. It’s like they’d find it absurd to see you being weak, needy and hurt sometimes.
I try to tell myself that this too shall pass and the only best person I can always rely on – without any hesitation, doubts or questions – is myself.
I’ve been feeling low for the past week. Some emotional distress here and there – okay, it’s all but the never-ending saga on my lovelife really. I’ve been taking the backseat on this ride for the past 9 months, would you believe? Stupid, I know. But what can I do? It was last week when the unimaginable just happened. How else am I supposed to feel when “they are back together, or should I say having the time of their lives again” right in front of my face? For over a year I’ve never seen them together really and I’ve never wanted to know much about them – “them”. What you don’t know won’t hurt, right? Here comes devastation. Sadness. Confusion. Anger. What else?
I was fervently hoping that I’d feel nothing close to what just happened to me from the other people I care about – yes, my dear friends. Guess what, I’m wrong (well at least as of this writing). You know that feeling when you want to feel extra special, get much care and attention from other people especially when you need them most? Now that’s what I need right now. With all humility I say it now because I’m not usually the type who’d ask friends to do special things for me. I’m doing those things for them most of the time really. It’s just now that I want to get a free pass… I want to feel that somehow, I’m priority 1 in someone’s life even for just a single moment. Boy that will really mean a lot to me.
Forgive the drama but this is the human side of me. It’s just a depressing thought sometimes when people around you have been used to seeing you too independent, super strong and resilient. It’s like they’d find it absurd to see you being weak, needy and hurt sometimes.
I try to tell myself that this too shall pass and the only best person I can always rely on – without any hesitation, doubts or questions – is myself.
