It always feels good to finally get to that conviction that you have moved on and now trying to live a better life if not happier. When you don’t see the things and people that remind you of the past, it seems that things are a lot breezier! Before I get too carried away, I gotta admit that yeah, this is just a wishful thinking. The fact of the matter is, some twisted ghosts of your past would always have their wicked ways of sneaking up from behind.
I was looking for some archived emails when I came across a couple of conversation exchanges I had with some friends. It had some excerpts of my (used to be dearest) friend’s thoughts on my supposed cold shoulder treatment to him. For a few seconds I felt like there was a speeding bullet that just came through my chest. After all this time I really never thought that it would still have that effect on me. And yeah I admit, it was a bit excruciating and I hated it! I’ve been telling myself and the whole world that I’m so through with all that yet it felt weird somehow.
I may still be right though. It’s just probably natural reaction on my part. Oh please, cut me some slack will yah! Can I get at least some credit for trying?! But seriously, I think what will make everything all okay is if and only if I can totally shut off some people in my life including everything that happened. Imagine if could see a doctor who’d do an “Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind” treatment to me. That I’d love to see! Heaven knows I’d do anything to have that one.
I wonder if it’s just useless going overboard or sounding like a broken record on this. Oh well my thoughts on these/them have never been under wraps anyway so why bother? I may never be too certain of what the future holds for me after all these but one thing is for sure, I can’t simply forget everything until hell freezes over.
About Me
- jeffie
- I love to cook and to eat! a typical couch potato! can stand the entire day just tuned in to cable TV favorite gimmick place in the whole world... Redbox and IO!!! i basically enjoy the blitz of the metropolis but a beach would always take my breath away!!!!! (sigh...) i like to travel more given the chance and the money of course! (More of Europe please!!!!) i hate sesame seeds i dont eat Oreo i dont eat olive i hate anything with curry conversationalist. perceived as a big snob. OC. freaks out when schedule gets messed up. adores kids especially my nephews. hates waiting or being waited for. enjoys a good read every once in a while. senti. poet. achiever. gets easily bored when things/work seem perfected already. smiles on life's cheap thrills such as seeing crushes, eating isaw, passing through all green-lit traffic lights. Competitive. Will fight hard for friends and family. 24-48 hour rule before talking to someone I got mad at. Not embarrassed to say ‘sorry’. Often forgets to say ‘please’. Madaling lambingin.
4 comments:
i hear you on the subject of twisted ghosts of the past. it really is better to not see them anymore because it saves us the effort of finding ourselves again if we will ever lose it once more. maybe it's a good thing that we won't ever forget these people and what they've done to us 'cause it will make us be more aware on how to make things better the next time around.
itoma nalang yan. mas masaya pa. :-)
Hay naku...super relate ako dito sa entry mo...whoever can erase the memory of a certain person/s from my brain can have my body! Hahaha! Chos!
I guess, the memories are there for a reason. For us to learn and for us to be reminded of certain things in life. Minsan talaga, kahit kaibigan mo, pagkakakanulo ka pagdating sa lovelife. Amen?
Napatahimik na lang talaga ako sa mga comments nyo... yun na! wahahaha!
ok lang un diephy, happens to the best of us. tanggap ko personally na every now & then i'll slide down that path & that i'll have to snap out of it. you can never forget what used to be a part of you right? but that's just it, it's part of you, not the whole of you.
- caloiboi
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