Better than you. Better than me.

• career-driven (e.g. manager na at least)
• mas mataas sweldo
• mas magarang kotse
• mas nice na house
• college graduate (with honors and/or distinctions)
• student leader (or awardee)
• has socio-civic involvement
• loves the art
• appreciates movies, plays, musicals
• enjoys a good read
• writes well
• can carry a tune (plus points if can sing very nicely as in with soul)
• well-travelled
• street-smart
• enjoys knowing and discovering trivial stuff
• can bring out a good laugh
• can blend in with friends
• excellent cook
• high EQ
• decisive
• quick thinker
• plans ahead
• loves kids (can tame kids)
• can argue with me
• can make me raise the white flag
• can stand by me
• can work with me
• can fight with me
• can fight for me...

... this is why I'm now affraid

... this is why I'm now hesitant

At least I can breathe now...

going...

going...

going...

and hopefully gone...


FOREVER...


with much gratitude,
jeff

... the way we used to be

Going down memory lane has always been enjoyable and meaningful to me. It gives some mixed emotions and realizations among other things even if some of those moments just repeatedly go over my head. Hell yeah, it's sort of a "cant-snap-out-of-it" nostalgia of roller coaster feelings. Sometimes I find myself going through some boxes of old pictures, or browsing my phone's picture gallery (and inbox, drafts, outbox mind you), or having a 'weird' grin when something or someone similar from the past in on the tube, or reading greeting cards, or cleaning and the attempt to dispose old junk, or simply having a solemn period alone... just moping.

I'm always fascinated whenever an image or a memory flashes through my head and suddenly, most often than not, you somehow get to that same old feeling that you had when that moment happened as if you are experiencing the whole thing over again -- except of course you're not. and yeah, I'm not talking about deja vu.

A thought just came to me... Can you really miss situations that are most likely going to happen again? People that you are already with or for sure spend some quality time with? But what moved me to write all these is what i think it is... I truly miss those situations that are most likely not going to happen again. I miss those people who i valueD so dearly yet have become too distant with. Too distant for me to think that I am never going to connect to them the way I used to. And I say these points as I make them more concrete.

• I miss not going home after work right away because we'll have breakfast at LKG or go to the mall or just hang out somewhere.
• I miss sleeping over with everyone there saying we're not staying up late because we all have to get up early... yet ending up staying late anyway because of endless chat or heart-to-heart sessions.
• I miss hearing someone asking someone else buy some ice from the nearby store.
• I miss eating pancit canton together in the green (and white) plastic plates we bought (not to mention we used to eat on the floor).
• I miss not missing tv because the it was busted and we simply enjoyed the mp3's from the pc.
• I miss the "kwek-kwek" and squid balls day every Saturday mornings.
• I miss having at least one in the group drunk each time we go to Kroc.
• I miss at least 15 people trying to get hold of 4 microphones just to sing.
• I miss the 'press cons' and meetings that used to get everyone updated.
• I miss burning our lungs out at Starbucks G4 after a good movie.
• I miss complaining why all soaps in the bathroom are either colored orange or pink (i.e. those skin whitening or whatever bars!)
• I miss going to work together.
• I miss taking breaks and lunches together.
• I miss everybody knowing every important thing someone has to share.
• I miss going to Divisoria haggling for whatever items.
• I miss the simple lives we used to live then.
• I miss the the fact that some complications we had were not mostly because of our own tangled together.
• I miss us.
• I miss the way we used to be.

I really do...

I feel sorry to even think that these can never happen again... I guess I don't want to push my luck and take chances. So much has been said and done. I guess I'd keep everything in the treasure box.

SLUM BOOK (hehehe)

1) Starting time: 3:25 PM (EST), June 29, 2007

2) Your Name: Jeffrey Umali Inandan

3) What are your nicknames: Jeff, Jeffie, Dieph

4) School: De La Salle – Lipa; De La Salle University - Manila

5) E-mail: jeff_inandan2000@yahoo.com

6) Eyes: black

7) Hair: black but I love to change hair color every once in a while

8) Pets: Hate ‘em!

9) Siblings: 2, they are twins!

~~**HAVE YOU EVER**~

10) Been so drunk you blacked out: drunk but didn’t black out though. That’s way too much!

11) Taken any illegal substances: Nope. Seriously!

12) Gone out in public in your pajamas: Yeah! To move my car, to buy something at the nearest store.

13) Missed school b/c it was raining: Yes but not during college days unless classes were suspended.

14) Set any body part on fire for amusement: Hell no!

15) Ever kept a secret from someone: Not just from someone, from a lot of people. Everybody does this, come on!

16) Who knows your deepest secrets: My closest friends.

17) Wanted to hook up with a friend: Yeah. Never worked.

18) Cried during a movie: Yup. But I get teary-eyed most of the time in MMK!

19) Had a crush on a teacher: Nope.

20) Ever thought an animated character was hot: Nah.

21) Ever at anytime owned New Kids on the Block stuff: No.

22) Planned your week based on the TV Guide: Funny… but yeah!

23) Prank called someone: yeah! Those who prank called me! Hahaha!

~~**FAVORITES**~~

25) Shampoo: Pantene, Rejoice, Lux, Sunsilk (I change brands each time a bottle gets emptied then revert back to the other brands)

26) Soap: Safeguard (Green or Orange); Dove; Ivory (Green)

27) Color: Green!

28) Day/Night: Night

29) Summer/Winter: Summer! Love the beach. And oh well, there’s no winter here in the Philippines. Though I love Europe’s winter! J

30) Online smile: Oh ayan! :-)

31) Lace or satin: For what? Parang alam ko na.. hehehe

32) Cartoons/Anime: The Little Rascals!!! Problem Child

33) Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: As of this writing, no.

34) Like anyone: Oh geezzz!!! Super duper like!!! T.G. and A.R.

35) Who have you known the longest of your friends: Lester, Aya, etc (13 years); Rona, Marl etc (11 years)

36) Who is the shyest: None! hahaha

37) Who do you go to for advice: Lester, Aya, Marl, Rona, JM, Van, Jai, Keiko, Gracie

38) Who do you get the most surveys from: Aya, Marl, Rona, Rhods, Ad

39) Who do you cry with: Aya, Marl, Rona, Jai, Keiko, Gracie, and the rest of Chefars

~~**IN THE LAST 2 WEEKS HAVE YOU**~~

40) Cried: almost.

41) Cut your hair: Uh huh! Just did yesterday!

42) Exercised: Yeah! I go to the gym three times a week.

43) Worn a skirt: nope. Duh!

44) Been mean: Ay nako! Ay nako! Ummm… I hope not but yeah.. I think I was mean to some few friends.

45) Been sarcastic: Almost always the past 2 weeks! Ha!

46) Met someone new: Oh yeah! Exciting actually.

47) Talked to someone you have a crush on: nah. But a friend of mine is arranging for that big day! For the second one, yeah. Just did... finally!

48) Missed someone: Always. But I’m trying not to miss them… Bad.

49) Hugged someone: Yah! A lot actually! Some friends who greeted me during my birthday

50) Fought with your parents: Nope. It’s been a while. Kinda got tired of that. I’ve grown up!

51) Wished upon a star: Yes! Cute.

52) Laughed until you cried: No.

53) Played Truth or Dare: Nah. Don’t want the mess after the game… if you know what I mean.

54) Watched a sunrise/sunset: Beautiful.

55) Went to the beach at night: nope. Last month yes I did.

56) Spent quality time alone: yah sure. Got “me time” every week or so.

57) Read a book for fun: not recently.

58) Ate a great meal: Always!

59) Are you lonely: next question please.

60) Are you happy: in most aspects of my life yes!

61) Are you talking to someone online: intermittent – yeah!

~~**DO YOU BELIEVE IN~~**

62) God/Devil: yah..

64) The Closet Monster: Nah.

65) The Big Bang Theory: Yah.

66) Heaven/Underworld: Uh huh! Especially when I’m in an airplane or on a ship/boat.

67) Superstitions: Yah.

68) What's a name you'd rather be called: Tristan. Kevin.

69) Who named you: My mom I think.

70) Backstreet Boys or NSync: N’Sync! I love “This I promise you”

71) When was the last time you showered: before coming to work

72) What color pants do you have on right now: jeans, duh!

73) What song are you listening to right now: none but the last I played while I was on the shower was “Heart of mine”

74) What was the last thing you said: “Okay, bye!” -- from a short meeting with the team

75) What is right next to you: A display cabinet full of Price Pfister faucets!

76) What is your computer desk made of: Wood with the partitions and all.

77) What is your phone number (optional): check my email signature.

78) What was the last thing you ate: Rice and Adobo (a few hours ago)

79) Where do you want to go on your honeymoon: Venice. Paris.

80) Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with: Whoever is God’s gift for me.

81) How many buddies do you have on your PM list: a whole lot as in 250++ but only 150 or so online right now.

82) How's the weather right now: just about right. Rained earlier.

83) Have you ever smoked pot: yeah. Never liked it. Never tried it again.

84) What did you do last night: went to work.

85) What is the best thing you find about the opposite sex: They can be very loyal and lovable.

86) How are you today: Sleepy. Only got 5 hours of sleep. L

87) How do you eat an Oreo: I don’t eat Oreo! Wanna know why? Because everybody loves it!

88) Who makes you happy: Of course the usual… and now got something new… the thought of T.G. gawd!

89) Fav cds: Hed Kandi

90) Fav dream: Can’t remember my dreams lately.

91) Have you ever won any special awards: yah. Just check ‘em out at my house. Got quite a few of them :-)

92) What do you want to be when you grow up: I’m already a grown up! I guess when I was a kid, I wanted to be a newscaster! hehehe

93) End time: 4:54 PM (EST)

You taught me...

• You taught me to enjoy even the little things around me.
• You taught me that spontaneity is as good as being well-planned.
• You taught me how to trust easily.
• You taught me to think profoundly.
• You taught me to open up myself.
• You taught me to realize things that define friendship, love and being in love.
• You taught me to become selflessly in love.
• You taught me to become stupid in love.
• You taught me to miss you.
• You taught me to want you.
• You taught me to love you.
• You taught me the meaning of love's pain.
• You taught me to understand beyond imagination.
• You taught me to sacrifice endlessly.
• You taught me to forcefully hate you.
• You taught me how to love you still even stronger.

... but you never taught me how to get over you... you never taught me how to forget you... you never taught me how to 'unlove' you...

... so please let me do this my way... the best way I know how...

Twenty Seven

Sa tinagal-tagal ko nang hindi nagsusulat dito sa blog, parang di na ata ako marunong! hahaha! At sa dami nang nangyari saken the past year, dami ko rin gustong isulat pero nakakatamad... hahaha... Pero sige i'll try na nga lang...

• One year na rin akong walang lovelife. I couldn't say naman that i didn't have the chance (ulet) pero hindi lang talaga sapul. Para ngang I'm most likely to believe na lapitin ata ako ng mga komplikadong relationships at mga tao. Parang ang malas talaga... I really don't know what to feel everytime my good friends tell me na I didn't deserve those (i considered) special people in the past. Kesyo sa actual relationship daw eh sobrang martyr ako... which is well, most of the time true. I guess it's part of my personality. I may come too tough and strong to others and at first glance/encounter pero once you get to know me, ayun na! Pati sa lovelife ganun din... sobrang daling magpatawad.
• Ayokong magsalita nang tapos pero siguro hangga't maari ayoko na ng office romance. Juice ko po! Sangkatutak na ang mga intriga, hirap pa i-maintain! Gusto ko lang na parang equal footing lang kami pag getting to know each other part kasi minsan talaga naiisip ko (and like what my other friends tell me) na parang because of what i have come to establish sa career ko (modesty aside) at sa reputation ko kaya parang "to be conquered" ang approach... sad noh? :(
• 3 is indeed a crowd. Minsan sinubukan kong maging "unconventional" when it comes to patching things up in my failed relationship. After losing my ex then later finding out na sila na ng bestfriend ko, ay good luck naman di ba?! Of course i went through the anger stage and all... it came to a point naman din na the three of us were really doing well... in fact people around us were surprised how i was able to manage that... not for too long though... daming issues and and hirap talaga especially on my part. The 3 of us just didnt work...
• I wanted to let go but u wouldn't... I figured out that you actually did this already when the unexpected and unimaginable happened to us... I feared that I would still continue to love you even if you're inlove with someone else or worse done and over with it. I tried finding new love but somehow there was you again... sneaked up from behind... Why do i feel that you just want yourself to be happy? Why do i feel that you just want me stuck with these feelings for you? Why do i feel that you just want to experience and explore everything and wait for you until you become ready? Why do i feel that you dont want me to move on? One thing is for sure I know: I become more okay when we are not together...
• Kaya ngayong TWENTY SEVEN na ako siguro mas magiging maingat na ako sa mga decisions ko in life... more mature... but at the same time i'd try to have more fun as much as possible... :)

YES... It's over but not quite

It was the eve of our 3rd month when I pulled the plug.

It was during my birthday week (the week after our supposedly 3rd month) when I finally came to my senses that I could not go on this way. I'd like everything to be back to where we were before.

I need not write the details here but one thing is for sure -- no matter how hard I try, no matter how much thinking and planning I make, it still boils down to one fact -- I still love TLC. I don't know how or until when, I'm holding on to whatever I have and whatever I can give.

To you:
Cliche as it may sound, if time and space is what you need, sure you now have them. I just hope you realize how much I love you so. It hurts so bad... but what else can I do?

Just let me love you the way I know how... nothing more... nothing less...

Even if… Because…

Even if you play dumb…
Even if you are vain…
Even if you are stubborn…
Even if it irritates me sometimes to make you brush your teeth…
Even if it drives me nuts to make you cut your nails…
Even if you don’t read books…
Even if you don’t understand motion pictures…
Even if you are talkative…
Even if you behave like a child most of the times…

Because you are witty more than you’ll ever know…
Because I’m learning a lot of things from you as well…
Because I simply love the way you look…
Because you like to be taken care of…
Because I like to take care of you…
Because you are not ashamed of what you do not know…
Because you know how to learn new things…
Because you like pictures and drawings, no dialogues…
Because you want to be heard…
Because I like to hear your thoughts…
Because you bring joy and laughter…

Even if it might sound Greek to you… I’m saying all these
Because these are just some of the thousand reasons why I love you…

I used to think...

01 May 2006

Lately I’ve been learning to unlearn some things for various reasons. I guess I'm already at the mature stage where I wouldn’t think that I’ll be at the losing end. For the longest time, I think I’ve operated in a WIIFM scheme especially on big things that I’ve to put so much time and effort on. Yeah, yeah… call me selfish or childish but that’s how I am.

Guess what, I’m trying to do a recall of the things (so far) that I’ve started to unlearn – in other words, have adjusted to, sacrificed, compromised, gave up. Oh yes, even I couldn’t believe it myself. For the right reasons… for the right person…

I used to think that in relationships, both parties would have to invest equal time with each other (or at least have the equal effort of trying to).

I used to think that you have to know all the things that both of you are doing for each other.

I used to think that you can’t say NO to the one you love.

I used to think that lovers will find it really difficult to be friends too.

I used to think that a self-centered person can be selfless for the one he loves.

I used to think that I cannot fight for the one I love.

I used to think that my dreams and aspirations will be absolute as I reach them – no negotiations applicable.

I used to think for “me, myself and I”, now there’s also “us and we”.

I used to think that I’ll never fall in love again…

TEN Things I hate about you ... (with rebuttals)

TEN things I hate about you…
TEN things I hate about you… " the resbak"

1) You don’t eat your breakfast but you always remind me to have mine
1a) You always remind me to eat my breakfast just to let me think that i must tell you to eat yours too!

2) You can’t cut your nails on your own without being forced to do so
2a) You do cut my nails but I end up doing it myself.

3) Most of the time your approach to anything and everything is like a laughing matter
3a Most of the time you are very serious and you dont have any past time just to make you happy. thats why im trying my best to make you feel better.

4) You make me “pikon” first before you show up and tell me it’s a surprise
4a) You are always pikon even if you already knew that it was a surprise just to prolong the climax of what you’re feeling at that moment.

5) You just keep my “notes” and never write back
5a) You always give me notes and letters even if you know that i hate to read. but im taking some time and consideration by reading those msgs that you give me.

6) You take a ride home with me and then ask the driver to drop you off elsewhere – and you’d just say “bye” and leave me with a goofy smile
6a) You take me for a ride and simply convince me not to leave you and secretly tell the driver that he must not stop whenever, wherever.

7) You mimic me with what I’m supposed to tell you. In fact I think you’ve come to memorize my usual lines on you
7a) You are always reiterating all the things that you've been saying that’s why I’ve memorized all those lines.

8) You don’t tell me what’s going on your head most of the time
8a) You dont know how to figure out whats going on in my mind and then you'll end up being pissed and pikon.

9) You don’t know how to say “NO” to other people (oh yes, including your friends)
9a) You dont know how to understand me -- why and what are the reasons why i say YES to them -- in fact i know that, that must be a NO NO.

10) You simply know how to make me not mind everything I just said by letting me know and making me feel how much you love me
10a) You simply dont know how to mind something thats why this secret is now the no1 talk in this community and you are very conceited because you know that i love you so.

Hmmm… what the heck, I guess I wouldn’t love you as much as I do if you don’t have the ten things I hate about you…
Hmmm... what the heck, I guess I wouldnt love you as much as I do if you dont have the ten things I hate about you too...

TEN things I hate about you...

TEN things I hate about you…

1) You don’t eat your breakfast but you always remind me to have mine
2) You can’t cut your nails on your own without being forced to do so
3) Most of the time your approach to anything and everything is like a laughing matter
4) You make me “pikon” first before you show up and tell me it’s a surprise
5) You just keep my “notes” and never write back
6) You take a ride home with me and then ask the driver to drop you off elsewhere – and you’d just say “bye” and leave me with a goofy smile
7) You mimic me with what I’m supposed to tell you. In fact I think you’ve come to memorize my usual lines on you
8) You don’t tell me what’s going on your head most of the time
9) You don’t know how to say “NO” to other people (oh yes, including your friends)
10) You simply know how to make me not mind everything I just said by letting me know and making me feel how much you love me

Hmmm… what the heck, I guess I wouldn’t love you as much as I do if you don’t have the ten things I hate about you…

I believe that angels brought me here

I Believe
by Fantasia Barrino

Have you ever reached a rainbow's end?
And Did you find your pot of gold?
Ever catch a shooting star?
Tell me how high did you soar?
Ever felt like you were dreaming,
Just to find that you're awake?
And the magic that surronds you,
Can lift you up, and guide you on your way.

I can see it in the stars across the sky.
Dreamt a hundred thousand dreams before
Now I finally realize.
You see I've waited all my life for this moment to arrive,
And finally,
I believe

When you look out in the distance
You see it never was that far
ohh no Heaven knows your existance
and wants you to be everything you are
ooh theres a time for every soul to fly
its in the eyes of every child
its the hope the love to save the world and ohhh we should never let it go

chorus

(Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah)
I believe in the impossible,
If I reach deep within my heart (Yeah)
Overcome many obstacles,
Won't let this dream just fall apart
You see I strive to be the very best,
Shine my light for all to see
Cause anything is possible,
When you believe ( I Can see it in the stars across the sky)
Yeah, yeah (Dreamt a hundred thousand dreams before)
Now I finally realize
You see I've waited all my life for this moment to arrive
And finally
I believe
ohhhhhhh yeah
I believe
Oooooh Yeah Yeah
(Love keeps lifting me higher)
I believe in love
(Love keeps lifting me higher)
higher higher higher higher

(Love keeps lifting me higher)
yeah-hea yeah-hea hea hea hea yeah
(Love keeps lifting me higher)
Love keeps lifting, love keeps lifting me higher
(Love keeps lifting me higher)
You oughtta try it for yourself
lifting me higher yeah yeah
(love keeps liftin me higher)
i believe i believe in love
(love keeps lifting me higher)
love yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
(love keeps lifting me higher)

higher higher higher higher higher
(love keeps liftin me higher)
love keeps liftin love keeps lifting me higher


Angels Brought Me Here
by Guy Sebastian

It’s been a long and winding journey,
But I’m finally here tonight picking up the pieces and walking back into the light
Into the sunset of your glory where my heart and future lies
There’s nothing like that feeling when I look into your eyes

My dreams came true when I found you; I found you, my miracle

If you could see what I see
That you’re the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel the tenderness i feel
You would know it would be clear, that angels brought me here

standing here before you
Feels like I’ve been born again
Every breath is your LOVE
Every heartbeat speaks your name

My dreams came true right here in front of you my miracle

If you could see what I see
You’re the answer to my prayer
And if you could feel the tenderness i feel
You would know it would be clear, that angels brought me here

brought me here, to be with you
Ill be forever grateful, oohh forever thankful

My dreams came true when I found you my miracle

If you could see what I see
You’re the answer to my prayers, oh...
And if u could feel the tenderness i feel
You would know it would be clear that angels brought me here

You know i love you baby
And if you could feel the tenderness i feel
You would know it would be clear, that angels brought me here

Jeff’s Simple rules of trust and friendship

1) Don’t put your friends in the limelight of gossips.
2) If trapped in a dead-end situation wherein you can’t help other people not to talk about your friend negatively or maliciously, the least that you can do is SHUT UP.
3) If curiosity seems to kill you, be honest and straightforward to ask your friend about the issue.
4) Respect your friend’s choice not to share anything and everything to you. There’s what you call proper timing. Don’t worry, it won’t make you less of a friend.
5) Betrayal in any form is not acceptable. Once betrayed, expect that you’ll be permanently considered NON-existent just like a low-life living creature!
6) No amount of apology can ever bring back a friendship.
7) I don’t get mad… I TRY not to get EVEN (God help me on this!)
8) You’ll hear nothing much from me, just be ready for the ultimate cold shoulder treatment! As cold as a dead corpse.
9) I don’t take back in the TRASH that I’ve thrown away!
10) I can still wish these trashes to be recycled by others though. J

One month & going strong...

Akala ko noon sa taong mahal mo, kapag nasaktan ka at umiyak nang sobra, sa hiwalayan ang ending n’yo. Akala ko noon, kapag naghiwalay kayo ng mahal mo (ano man ang dahilan), yun lang ang dahilan para lubusan kang makaramdam ng sobrang hinagpis at sakit.

Nagkamali ako… may mga pagkakataong hindi kayo nagkakaintindihan o kaya nama’y may mga problema na sobrang nakakasakit ng damdamin ng bawa’t isa, pero hindi naman ibig sabihin ay KAILANGAN n’yo nang maghiwalay. Maski pa gaano kasakit ang nararamdaman n’yo, hindi naman nawawala agad ang pagmamahal sa isa’t isa. Buti na lang I held on… hehehe…

I still feel that everyday is still a learning experience with life and love… I thank God I found you…

Too Dark for a Black Saturday

15 April 2006
Black Saturday

It has been a week full of agony and misery. I try to pause and look back, what have I done? Why do these things happen? All the while I thought I could be as happy as I imagined… amidst all the troubles inside my world because I have you with me. It hurts to see you in pain… losing your belief in yourself and your confidence. But what pains me more is seeing you get so consumed with the harsh reality of life – what just happened to you. I’d like to think that at the end of the day, it will ultimately be up to you to bounce-back and pull yourself together. Sure you need time to be alone, to think things over, to reflect even… so you can face the world again, so you can continue to live and to love. No matter how rough times get, these challenges are telling us to be on our toes and continue the fight. Easier said than done – I know – but the work doesn’t end there especially when there’s someone sharing the world with you.

I’d still like to believe that I’m sharing that real with you. I know neither of us wanted things to be this way. I’d like to face each and every obstacle head-on but I can’t do this alone. The love that I selflessly committed to you cannot simply withstand the rain all by itself. I professed my love for you believing that we started sharing our lives together – our dreams and even our fears. But where are you now? Each day I try to get the much needed strength to survive and carry on with the next. Hoping to finally find you there – to work things out and make everything all right. I don’t know for how long I’ll keep on believing… I’ll keep on hoping… that anytime soon, things will be back the way they used to be.

I really can’t believe where I can get the will to continue to hold on to our love. I don’t want to think that I may have given so much – so much so it hurts a lot. I also don’t want to think that I may have not been the person lately you wanted to love. A lot of things are running through my head now but I simply won’t give up on this until I hear it from you.

Do we really have to go through all these? It wasn’t too long ago when we started things so happily. We said we’ll stay together no matter how difficult things might get, no matter what other people say.

As I burst into tears, I’m thinking of the chances we’ve been missing to clear things out. I wish it was simpler. I wish it was easier. I really feel sorry that we have to deal with all these. If I could only make things easier for you…

Never have I been so willing and eager to work thing out like this to the one I love. I guess in loving you came along the commitment that I’ve feared and avoided for the longest time. With you I felt free, became willing to take bigger risks in life and take chances. I know things are not always certain but with you I feel like I can conquer anything just as long as you hold my hand.

I don’t want to think that I’m starting to be alone in this journey that we started together. Please shed some light in this wilderness I’m in. It’s difficult already as it is but things seem to be more complicated since I don’t hear from you. Please let me know if everything is still worth fighting for…

Sa mga tagasubaybay...

I'll post more blog entries hopefully within this week. Been so busy with work among so many things...

Mejo marami pa rin akong kailangang ayusing mga bagay na personal... pero wag mag-alala, mananatiling updated itong blog ko once i get the chance to write everything... basta yun...

Isang Panayam...

1. Buong pangalan?
Jeffrey Umali Inandan

2. Anong nararamdaman mo ngayon?
Masaya. Naiihi.

3. Bakit yun ang nararamdaman mo?
Una, masaya ako dahil sa beybi ko… Pangalawa, naiihi ako dahil ang dami ko atang nainom na tubig kanina.

4. Saan mo gusto pumunta ngayon?
Sa banyo.

5. Kung may yayakapin ka ngayon, sino?
Ang beybi ko siyempre.

6. Kung may chance kang bumuhay ng tao, sino bubuhayin mo?
Si Ferdinand Marcos para tapusin nya na lahat ng dapat nyang tapusin at panagutan ang dapat panagutan!

7. Anong kanta ang lagi mong kinakanta?
Sa ngayon… eto “you were just a dream that I once knew… never thought I would be right for you... I just can’t compare you with anything in this world… you’re all I need to be with forevermore…”

8. Sinong katabi mo ngayon?
Beybi ko…

9. Kung papipiliin ka, sino pipiliin mo:mahal mo na di ka mahal, o mahal ka na di mo mahal?
Wala kasi mahal ako ng mahal ko…

10. Sinong gusto mong makausap ngayon?
Mga friends ko na wala dito sa Cebu (i.e nasa Manila or other countries)

11. Kung hindi ka ikaw ngayon, sino ka?
Isang scribe sa Egypt in today’s modern time.

12. Ano pinakamalungkot na nangyari sa'yo?
having to go through heartbreaks…

13. Anong kanta ang gusto mong i-play?
I’ll never go… far away from you… even the skies will tell you that I need you so for this is all I know I’ll never go far away from you…

14. Kung bibigyan mo yung mahal mo ng bulaklak ano yun?
Gumamela para makapagpa lobo pa sya! hahaha

15. Anong talent mo?
Ang corny ng tanong pero sige… kumanta, sumayaw, magluto (if this is considered). ay meron pa pala... magpaAMO ng mababangis na paslit!

16. Ma-pride ka bang tao?
Kinda lalo na dati pero ngayon di na masyado.

17. Anong bagay na gusto mong makuha ngayon?
Targets ng team ko!!!

18. Sinong artista ang kinalolokohan mo ngayon?
Wala naman… ay meron! yung isang artista sa Gulong Ng Palad kasi kamukha sya ng beybi ko.

19. Sino ang kinakainisan mo ngayon?
Ang isang taong di ko dapat kainisan dahil dapat ko siyang irespeto. Haaayyyy….

20. Anong pelikula ang gusto mong panoorin?
Madami dahil last na napanood ko ay Cheaper by the Dozen 2. 

21. Kung bida ka sa isang pelikula,sino gusto mong leading man/lady mo?
Ayokong mag-artista eh hehehe…

22. Kung di mo pangalan ang pangalan mo ngayon, ano ang pangalan mo?
I guess yun pa rin pero Jeff lang siguro (yung nickname ko)

23. Kung may gusto kang balikan sa nakaraan mo, ano yun?
Yung nasa Europe ako pero this time non-winter season naman.

24. Masaya ba ang kwento ng buhay mo?
Masaya. Kontrobersiyal. Nakakatawa. Nakakaiyak.

25. Kung papayagan kang pumatay ngayon, sino ang papatayin mo?
Parang ayoko kasi baka makulong ako.

26. Sino ang pinakaimportanteng (mga) tao ngayon sa buhay mo?
Of course given na ang pamilya ko at mga kaibigan ko. At shempre and beybi ko.

27. Ano ang pinaka-pangarap mong maging nung bata ka pa?
Maging doctor at news anchor. hehehe

28. Kung singer ka, sinong singer ang gusto mong maka-duet?
Si Stevie Wonder para sa isa sa mga classic at favorite kong kantang LATELY.

29. Sa tingin mo, bakit kailangang magmahal?
Dahil “love makes the world go round” cliché pero totoo.

30. Isang pelikula na talagang iniyakan mo?
Magnifico

31. Ano ang pinaka-ayaw mong ugali ng isang tao?
Mandaraya. Sinungaling at Bastos.

32. Anong theme song ng buhay mo?
Warrior is a child.

33. Kung pwede mong i-rewind ang oras, ano gagawin mo?
May mga bagay akong hindi na lang sasabihin at gagawin.

34. Kaya mo bang pakawalan ang taong mahal mo?
Honestly… ngayon parang di ko ata kaya dahil ngayon lang ako nagmahal nang ganito.

35. Motto mo tungkol sa love sa mga oras na ito?
Dumarating sa ‘di inaasahang pagkakataon…

Blues clues

Sino ang BEYBI mo?

single or taken-- taken. Walang aangal.

special someone?-- bitaw!

crush or in love?-- love shempre

anung ngs2han mo sa knya?-- ang buong “siya”

you want him/her to be your bf/gf?-- n/a (hulaan mo kung baket)

why?-- n/a ulet. Ang kulit

what if you're meant for each other?-- wish ko rin yan….

a "boy/girlfriend material"?-- uh-huh

turn offs?-- wala naman po

may nangliligaw/nliligwan ka ba?-- wala. It’s not proper anymore. See answers on above items.

gs2 mo p bng mgtnong ako?-- ok ra.

ok lng sayo?-- carry on.

seloso/selosa ka ba?-- minsan. Pag tinotopak ako

may pnagseselosan k ba ngayon?-- wala naman po.

pwede bang makahingi ng clue tungkol sa love mo?-- sige try natin…

ano favorite color nya?-- green

schoolmate mo?-- nope.

kilala ka nmn?-- but of course!

ngkikita ba kayo?-- at least 5 times a week

tingin mo, gsto ka rin niya?-- more than dat. Sinabi na nya sakin eh.

anung initials niya?-- secret! Di na pwede yan. Masyadong give-away na pag nagkataon!

may code name ba siya?-- meron pero di ko sasabihin...

describe your lovelife?-- …came along when I least expected it…

Some questions...

I’ve been through with love… with all the hurt and old pain…
And yet here you come in an ordinary day…
A smile… a text… a call…
Am I climbing up again just to fall???

‘Yan ang mga katagang nanggaling mula sa isang taong malapit sa puso ko. Masasabi ba talaga nating “tapos na” tayo sa larangang ito? O kaya nama’y pinagdaanan na natin ang lahat? Oo nga’t minsan nakakasawa na at nakakapagod na ang masaktan nang sobra sobra.

Bakit kaya ganun? Kung kalain ka halos umikot at mainip sa kahihintay ng isang “someone” biglang may darating? Kung kailan feeling mo hindi ka handa.. kung kailan tila napaka-komplikado ng mga bagay-bagay. Wala ba talagang perfect timing para dito? Bakit di pwedeng umayon ang lahat ng bagay, tao at pangyayari sa iyong kagustuhan?

Kailangan bang magsimulang muli sa kawalang katiyakan? Kakayain pa kayang magmahal upang masaktang muli? Mahihigitan ba nito ang kasiyahan mula sa mga nagdaan?

Siguro nga’y mas mabuti pang hayaan na lang ang tadhana ang syang magdikta kung ano ang mga mangyayari. Isa lang ang napakahalagang bagay na makasisigurado na maipagpatuloy ang lahat ng ito… ang kasiyahan ng damdamin sa kasalukuyan…

Cebu?! B?

Ang bilis ng panahon. Mahigit limang buwan na akong namamalagi dito sa Cebu ng dahil sa trabaho. May mga bagay na meron dito na wala sa Maynila at meron din naming kabaliktaran. May mga bagay/taong kinailangan isakripisyo para sa ibang mas mahalagang bagay sa buhay ko… kung kaya ako nandito ngayon. Gusto ko lang mag-senti kaya ibinibigay ko sa inyo ang…

Sampung bagay sa Maynila na nami-miss ko…

1) Sumakay sa airconditioned bus mula Ayala hanggang Edsa.
> Paano naman kasi walang city bus dito sa Cebu. Yung tipong minimum fare lang. Tatlo lang ang alam kong mode of public transportation dito sa siyudad: jeep or multicab, taxi at habal-habal (i.e. motorcycle -- not tricycle ha – na bumabiyahe at kaya ang hanggang limang pasahero!)

2) WENDY’s
> Oo walang bacon mushroom melt at frosty dito!!! Ayon sa aking napag-alaman, dati raw ay may Wendy’s dito ngunit sa di mawaring dahilan ay wala na ngayon.

3) 7-11 at Mini-stop
> Sa dinami-dami ng convenience store (particularly 7-11 and mini-stop) sa area ng Valero, maniniwala ba kayong walang ganun dito?!?! Oo! The closest they have is “C24”. My goodness, nakaka-miss din pala ang mga tindahang ito kahit na mag-aamoy fried chicken ka maski 5 minutes ka lang sa mini-stop or maski palaging tunaw na ang slurpee sa 7-11 hahaha!

4) Mga “walkway at underpass”
> Ngayon ko lang mas na-appreciate ang walkway at underpass. Dati, puro reklamo pa ako kapag mahaba ang lalakarin namin (e.g. from Paseo to Landmark) to think covered walk naman ang dadaanan namin. Sa sobrang init dito sa Cebu, nakakatuyo ng dugo ang mga pagkakataong kailangan mong maglakad.

5) G4. Greenbelt. Eastwood. Powerplant.Greenhills.
> Napakaraming malls na pagpipiliaang puntahan. Dito kasi sa Cebu they only have Ayala Center and SM. The rest are not comparable to the Manila-standard malls. Wala ata akong maalalang time na may “midnight madness” dito sa mall.

6) Redbox
> Ang isa sa favorite kong puntahan twing Saturday lunch time! Nakakaganda ng boses ang audio hehehe. Cebu has Pod5 and K1 but still nothing compares to Redbox. Syempre pa nakakamiss din yung mga regular kong ka-back-to-back-to back song numbers…

7) Ang mga nagkalat na Jollijeep sa Makati
> Napaka convenient talaga dahil isang baba mo lang sa office, mamili ka na lang ng jollijeep na bibilhan mo ng tingi-tinging yosi at kung anu-ano pa. I think 500 pesos per day ang rent nila dyan ha ayon sa kaibigan kong si Ate Angie.

8) TAHO sa umaga
> Maski sa napakaagang oras ng alas-tres ng madaling araw, may makikita kang nagbebenta ng taho especially sa mga call center area.

9) Mga TV shows na hindi available sa regional area. Hahaha!

10) Family and friends… needless to explain… (senti music on queue)



I love Cebu because…

1) Most (if not all) taxi drivers here give change to their passengers! Oh yes, maski P2.50 pa ‘yan, don’t be surprised if hahabulin ka pa nila just to give you your change. Sa Manila… needless to explain!

2) The city is just so close to nature especially to the beach! Mactan is like half an hour drive. You also have Danao, Dalaguet, Moalboal atbp. And of course, BOHOL is just a boat-ride away!

3) The food is so affordable! You can have a decent meal for as low as 30 pesos in your regular cafeteria set-up.

4) Special mention restos:
> AA’s for the grilled meat and seafood (try grilled KITONG da best!)
> CnT for their delicious “mang tomas”-less lechon
> CASA VERDE for their baby back ribs (mind you, the size they serve would cost no less than 600 bucks in Manila!)
> SUNBURST for their crispy chicken skin (good luck sa cholesterol) and yummy chopsuey plus rapsang wepaks ng nokma (Hi to B’ley and Omeed)
> THE DESSERT FACTORY for my favorite ‘kinamatisang lechon kawali’
> DING QUA QUA for their Chinese cuisine buffet at only 165 pesos!

5) Eto quiet lang ha… you know those TIMEZONE stubs on your AYALA movie tickets that you can only be good on purchase date? Well, well, well… here in Cebu, timezone folks are accepting even up to one month old stubs! That’s why I enjoy playing here.

6) The everyday traffic situation is too tame compared to your regular EDSA or SSH morning and evening rush!

7) The overall environment upon exiting the office area is not stressful compared to Manila.

8) You can get a whole body massage for only 250 pesos and a foot massage for 50 bucks! Beat that!

9) Most of the people I work with here are so accommodating. I can say that at this point, wala pang bahid ng pulitika sa sistema ng mga katauhan nila. Mas tame ang mga intriga at nang-iintriga dito.

10) Lastly, I love Cebu because I simply choose to do so…

… I’ll be home soon…